Dear Friends of Grace,
I know my letters have gotten farther and fewer between, but that’s not for lack of things happening around here. Grace is just emerging from another rough patch. It seems that she always leaves something behind every time she goes through a difficult phase. She spent over a week with her silent tears and perpetual sadness and when she finally “came back”, it seemed she was a little further away from us. It’s hard to explain, but there are more periods of vacancy in her eyes these days and it’s hard to know if it’s permanent.
I just returned one week ago from my own vacancy. I traveled to Ireland and from there, traveled to Bosnia/Croatia to Medjugorje, a small village where miracles are reported to occur-miracles of physical and spiritual healings. My sole purpose for going was to pray as hard as I could for Grace. One week before I left on my journey, I was home folding laundry.
It was another frustrating Saturday for me where I was once again home for the weekend, catching up on laundry, kids, cleaning and Grace after working all week. Grace was not having a good day, which unfortunately has been the norm lately. My mother came over to support me in my quiet misery and gently commented that I don’t seem to spend enough time praying anymore. I snapped back at her, “Then HE better make time for me to pray because I have NONE!” (Accusingly pointing my finger toward heaven). A few hours later, I got a phone call from a friend inviting me to join her on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje and that she would be leaving in 6 days. For those of you who have never heard of Medjugorje, it is most similar to Fatima, Portugal where the Virgin Mary appeared to three children.
I originally had plans to spend vacation week with my children in New Hampshire, but after hearing I had an opportunity to go on a trip and pray for Grace, they gave me their blessing. David was supportive from the moment I told him I was thinking about going. He said he would make it work even though he was scheduled to work that week because it was a coveted school vacation week and he is never able to get that week off. I felt that God had personally invited me on this pilgrimage and I couldn’t refuse the invitation. The next day, my mother came over to babysit so I could go to church and she handed me a prayer card that she had meant to give me the day before. It was a picture of the Virgin Mary and it said, “Medjugorje”. I booked my ticket. I was set to leave in five days.
David went off to work that Sunday night and called me a couple of hours later telling me that miraculously, the week had opened up and he would be able to take a vacation. Another blessing and another confirmation that it was meant to be.
During the next few days, I had to get to Boston and apply for an emergency passport. Getting through the traffic and the lines at the passport office was another miracle. I said goodbye to my children Thursday night and left for work early Friday morning with my suitcase in the car. I went to Logan Airport in Boston straight after work and by 3 o’clock, I was on my way.
Arriving in Medjugorje with a hope-filled heart and a suitcase full of prayer requests from friends and family, I was overwhelmed. I had never left my children or even David before. I was a strange feeling but I had no doubts that I was where I needed to be. During the week, we visited the local church, an orphanage, a recovery community for boys with addiction, and climbed “Cross Mountain” and Apparition Hill where the Virgin Mary has appeared to 6 local visionaries. During the week we were completely emersed in the peaceful pulse of this war-torn community of devoted and prayerful people.
There was such an incredible sense of holiness and peace in the places I visited as I realized how many other millions of pilgrims stood where I stood for all their million different reasons and brought their despairs, hopes and faith to these same blessed grounds. Wherever I went, I brought Grace with me. Whenever I prayed, I prayed for her. At one point, as I stood on the Apparition Hill, and begged for help and healing for Grace, I realized with such certainty that it wasn’t Grace that needed the healing after all. It was me. I was there for my own healing of a different kind.
Well, I received it. It was as if the tank of fumes I was running on suddenly got filled up. I felt a pouring of grace into my soul and deep inside, there settled a deep sense of peace, renewal and clarity.
As much as Grace’s body is often in a tormented state, her soul is not tormented. But so many of us do have tormented souls. We are tormented by our worries of tomorrow, our regrets of yesterday, our “what if’s” and “should have’s.” All too often, we focus on what we don’t have or we get stressed over the situations we find ourselves in, instead of accepting our circumstances with faith and confidence. If there’s one thing Grace does, as you all know by now, it’s live in the moment.
I realized that I must never stop being thankful for Grace and the gifts that she has given me and given so many people. It is because of Grace and her suffering that I have come to connect so strongly with God and with so many of you, her faithful friends. Some day in heaven, Grace’s broken body will be restored and more perfectly matched to her beautiful soul. My faith assures me of that. I know her healing will come in God’s time. For now, despite her tears, my spirit feels very strong.
In church this morning, Monsignor Halloran talked about coming in on the Block Island Ferry years ago before digital technology. He recalled that in times of heavy fog, the captain would shut down the motors so he could hear the fog horn and get his bearings. I was so blessed to be able to go to Medjugorje and shut down my motors. I heard God’s call to me loud and clear and I have now turned back on my motors and maintained my bearings. Now that I am back from my incredible journey, I have to stay on course and continue to follow the messages from my pilgrimage…work, prayer, service, love and gratitude for everything we have at all times…even our sufferings which strengthen us.
I will end with reminding you that Race for Grace Fourth and Final is set for May 29th same time and place as usual ~ 10 am, St. Veronica Chapel, Narragansett. I haven’t done a THING for it yet, but my faith reminds me, it will all get done. Hoping for the biggest and best turnout EVER!! I ask for now only for your prayers that the event will be a huge success and Grace will have another opportunity to reel in more souls into her circle of love.
Peace,
Tara