For HER July 29
Dear Friends of Grace,
So Grace is 5 years old as of yesterday (July 28), thanks to God. The first two years of her life were very happy and “normal.” The past three years have been quite different as you all know. She’s been faced with a vicious assault on her body and mind. She’s fought long and hard to survive her daily and often momentary battles. Through it all, her spirit has remained strong, so strong.
Over the last three years there have been many times when things got so bad for Grace, I have prepared myself (and my family) to “let her go” - not for my sake but for hers. After celebrating her fifth birthday and seeing how radiant and beautiful she continues to be, I cannot help but find comfort in allowing myself to believe more and more that she is not going anywhere. She’s a survivor. She’s a little comeback kid. She has dipped so low in her health and strength so many times, but yet she rises out of the ashes on every occasion. She’s amazing.
I always wonder what the next possible lesson from Grace could be for us all because I have learned so much from her already in these 5 short but LONG years. The notion that “quitting is not an option” has never been so crystallized in my mind. When I’m carrying her and my arms are burning, I cannot put her down. When she’s vomiting her meds and looks exhausted, we have to clean her up and try again. When I don’t want to get out of bed but I can hear her yelling out “mommy” in the early morning, I just get up. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and in her name. I realized lately that I can scrub my bathtub for her. I can wash dishes for her, cut the lawn for her, suffer through my own meager discomforts for her, pray even when I’m too tired for her.
She pushes me, challenges me, shapes me and makes me want to try harder, work harder, push harder to get it all done and I will…for her. I am going back to working full time in one month. There are some changes in our home that will be challenging and some heartbreaking. My head and heart is full of wonder and concerns about my family life, my children’s needs and Grace. David will be working nights. I will be working days. Only through the grace of God will we figure it all out and still maintain love, peace and order in our home. Through all the hypotheticals that could drive me crazy, there’s only one central theme that keeps me going…we will do it all for Grace and it will be all right. If it wasn’t for Grace and all the comforts and strengths that she brings to my heart and mind, I couldn’t do it.
I am so thankful for her life and the ability through our faith to transform our family’s biggest heartache into our greatest source of strength. Race for Grace is an incredible experience and it is truly a way of daily living. Learning to accept and accomplish all your menial annoying little tasks and even the great big ones…for her. It’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from Grace. I don’t just do for her. She does so much for me…for us!!
Thank you for continuing to ride this wave of Grace with us.
Continue your prayers…for her.
Love,
Tara